Describe a setting!
Behind the misty clouds, is the
half hidden moon shining down to all that lays beneath it. Silently, the wind
howls as the mouse’s rustle beneath the leaves. In the distance, hungry foxes
hunt the scavenger for food. Silent and deadly the bare mist lurks around the
withered barren trees. The moonlight shines over the deserted woodland. Ivy
grows strongly
like a fighting, mighty lion.
Well done you have used many diffterent VCOP please could you write some more
ReplyDelete* Good use of Vocabulary - withered, scavenger...
ReplyDelete* Good description
I wish you could write more.
* Well Done you have used descriptive vocabulary
ReplyDelete* I like the similies you have used
Wish: remember the plural for mouse is not mouses it is mice!
I like the word half hidden moon shining also the discription the wind howls exellent peice of work
ReplyDeletewell done this piece of work is very good. You have used interesting adjctives.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you discribed the forst Silent and deadly the bare mist lurks around the withered barren trees.
ReplyDeleteyou also used all the vcop
Well Done Mahek. Good use of descriptive vocabulary. You used a simile: Ivy grows strongly like a fightting, mighty lion. You also used a metaphor: The bare mist lurks around the withered barren trees. You could have written a bit more.
ReplyDeleteYou have used a good use of Vocabulary - withered, scavenger and have described the setting perfectly but to make it more interesting you could prepostional openers,drop in clauses etc
ReplyDeletemahek you have written a fabulous piece of work including vocab like withered and lurked. perhaps you could extend this piece of writing using ALL the different senses!
ReplyDeleteI like your use of adventurous vocabulary and subordinate clauses. maybe you could write a little more.
ReplyDeletethank you
ReplyDelete